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Dealing with Disappointment

7/17/2020

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The gift of disappointment is to bring us into reality so we don't get stuck in the realm of how things might have been.

Whenever we do something in life with an expectation of how we'd like it to turn out, we risk experiencing disappointment. When things don't go the way we had envisioned, we may feel a range of emotions from slightly let down to depressed or even angry. We might direct our feelings inward toward ourselves, or outward toward other people or the universe in general. Whether we feel disappointed by ourselves, a friend, or life in general, disappointment is always a tough feeling to experience. Still, it is a natural part of life, and there are many ways of dealing with it when we find ourselves in its presence.

As with any feeling, disappointment has come to us for a reason, and we don't need to fear acknowledging it or feeling it. The more we are able to accept how we are feeling and process it, the sooner we will move into new emotional territory. As we sit down to allow ourselves to feel our disappointment, we might want to write about the experience of being disappointed--the situation that preceded it, what we were hoping would happen, and what did happen. The gift of disappointment is its ability to bring us into alignment with reality so that we don't get stuck for too long in the realm of how things might have been.

As we consider other disappointments in our life and how we have moved past them, we may even see that in some cases what happened was actually better in the long run than what we had wanted to happen. Disappointment often leaves us feeling deflated with its message that things don't always turn out the way we want. The beauty of disappointment, though, is that it provides us a bridge to its other side where the acceptance of reality, wisdom, and the energy to begin again can be found. - Written by Madisyn Taylor

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words=emotions=energy

7/1/2020

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If your reading this then we can assume you have survived the UK lockdown, congratulations! 
Life is on its way to the new normal, whatever that is going to be.
We can shop in our favourite shops once more. Soon we will be able to eat in our favourite restaurants, so long as we social distance.
Just the phrase ‘social distance' makes my energy drop. We, as human beings, are not designed to be lone creatures. We are social by nature, if fact most animals are and we share behaviours such as the need to belong, develop our own pecking order and have our own territory.
Humans share mirror neurons and unconsciously match each other’s emotions. A lack of social interaction causes all sorts of mental and physical health problems. As Aristotle said “Man, is by nature a social animal.”  
This week I heard the phrase ‘physical distancing’ and thought how much more gentle this sounded. Words are powerful. Our minds believe the stories we tell ourselves. If we are saying or thinking about social distancing, we are telling ourselves that we are being denied a basic need. This will have a negative effect on our mood.
Let’s start to be kinder to ourselves and think carefully about the words we use. Think about the lift we get when someone pays us a compliment, or the discomfort when you realise you’ve just said something you shouldn’t have said!
Words and the energy they carry are dynamic, they change the atmosphere and can cause joy or pain. So much pain we cause ourselves and others could be avoided if we were to be more mindful of our words.
Here’s a challenge... spend a day really noticing how you speak to yourself, without judging. Notice not only the words you say or think, but also your tone. Try to notice the emotions linked to your words.
Finally ask yourself these three questions; Is it true?  Is it kind? Is it necessary?
So, as we begin to engage with the community once more, remember the power of words. We may need to be physically apart b,ut we can still be social at a distance.
We also need to remember that coming out of lockdown can be just as stressful as going into it, but we found ways to cope. It is perfectly normal to feel unsure at this time. We all face uncertainty and challenge and are moving on the best we can.
If we bear that in mind as we venture out it may help us be more tolerant of others who could be feeling nervous. Friendly words and gestures can change the energy of any situation and can make an enormous difference to how you and others react. If we all try to be a little more mindful of our speech, then the new normal just may be better than the old.
Take care, Much love
Jan
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