Last week we investigated kindness and how being kind can help us feel better about ourselves and the world around us.  But how do we react when the same kindness isn’t shown to us? When life simply isn’t kind. Some of us will feel angry. Some let down, disappointed, some will feel compassion. I wonder how many will feel acceptance?
In the past three months our lives have changed profoundly. The way we interact with those outside our household. The way we work, shop, seek medical advice or visit the post office all require more planning and awareness than ever before. Simple pleasures such as playing with our grandchildren or meeting a friend for a coffee, have become a distant memory. Those of us who have abided by the rules and made enormous sacrifices amidst personal dramas will, understandably be reacting to news that others have not been so careful and considerate. However, it is how we react that determines our mood and ability to move forward.
The key to living a mindful life is acceptance. Acceptance of what is and what we are unable to change. Acceptance isn’t simply giving in. It is perceiving the situation and acknowledging  it without judging it as good or bad. In other words the ability to accept negative emotions without judging them. Stressful life events happen and resisting, as opposed to accepting them makes them stronger. Those who learn to accept difficult experiences allow them to run their course and dissipate. Acceptance helps us to stop focusing only on what’s ‘wrong’ and to notice other feelings and thoughts that may be happening alongside,  helping us to see the bigger picture.  
Acceptance of something really means calmness towards it. It is the ability to be as relaxed and happy as possible by minimising any anger about what can’t be changed anyway. It’s something you can do for your own peace of mind. When you stop fighting the ways things are and start being more relaxed you may even become able to respond more positively. When things go wrong it’s easy to think of a story coming to a sad end but perhaps it is the preceding chapter to a new story that has not yet been written.
Try to remember you don’t have to solve everything at once and only ever have to deal with the moment you are in and that any moment is temporary and will one day become a memory. Any pain or fear we are constructing in our own minds around today’s situation will eventually pass. Just as pleasures are also temporary, which is why we should never take them for granted, no matter how small they may seem.
It’s not easy to adjust to situations we would rather not be experiencing but it is possible to adjust to how things are and become more relaxed and positive in spite of them. The more you struggle to accept your situation the worse it may seem. It may take time but it is worthwhile gradually accepting the way things are for the sake of your own peace of mind and happiness.
In the words of Elkhart Tolle......
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it....this will miraculously transform your whole life.”
Until next time,
Much love
Jan 

Today is the first day of Mental Health Awareness Week 2020. This year’s theme was originally going to be ‘Sleep’. Although quality sleep is important to maintain positive mental health, in light of the pandemic the Mental Health Foundation decided to change the theme to ‘Kindness’.
So why kindness? Kindness strengthens communities and relationships. It is a cornerstone of good  Mental Health. Showing or receiving kindness raises our vibration and lightens our hearts. It helps reduce stress and deepens friendships. It boosts our self esteem and promotes feelings of confidence and optimism.
So what does kindness mean to you? Perhaps you are helping a neighbour by getting shopping, or maybe you are the one receiving help. The world has warmed to the kindness of Captain Tom Moore as he walked his garden to raise funds for the NHS, wouldn't it be amazing if that kindness could spread further and touch every community in in the UK? Let’s spend this week creating the sort of society we wish to see emerging from the pandemic and put kindness at the heart of all we do. This pandemic has given us the opportunity to change how we interact with others, to press the reset button on society and to rewire a kinder society that better protects our mental health. All from the comfort of our own homes.
Doing good makes you feel good! If you don’t believe me, try it. Think about the people singing songs on balconies in Italy, groups formed on social media to support the vulnerable, volunteers calling folk they have never met, just for a chat, delivering prescriptions and groceries to those who are unable to leave home. Being kind and compassionate improves our own wellbeing and happiness, reduces stress and may even help us live longer.
Random acts of kindness can still be carried out during lockdown or while social distancing . Why not pick a few from these ideas to try this week, or think of some yourself and see how you feel afterwards? We would love to hear about your kind acts in the comments section.

• Call a friend instead of messaging.
• Remind someone how much you appreciate them.
• Think of someone you are proud of and why. Tell them.
• Place a dish of fresh water at your gate so passing dogs can have a drink.
• Donate to a charity or food bank.
• Offer to pick up essentials for a neighbour.
• Help with a household task that you usually leave to someone else.
• Send an interesting article to a friend.
• Praise a colleague or friend for something they did well.
• Say thank you to key workers and mean it.
• Ask an isolating neighbour if you can walk their dog.
• Smile at twenty people on your daily exercise.
• Feed birds in your garden.
• Litter pick on your walk.
• Send someone a hand written letter or home made card.
• Start a conversation with a neighbour over the fence.
• Give an honest compliment.
• Treat yourself . You are important too.

So, in this week when mental health is in the limelight, using kindness can be a way to improve our own and that of others.
Have fun and remember, “In a world where you can be anything, just be kind" . (Caroline Flack 2019)

Much love                                                                                                                Jan 
18th May 2020

Back in January 2020 we heard on the news that a virus was infecting people in China. Now we are seven weeks into lockdown here in the UK, protecting ourselves and others from the same virus. Very quickly we found ourselves in a stressful and intense situation. Many of us feel uncertainty and anxiety, because of the virus but also because of the unprecedented measures being enforced around the world.
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The world and our lives as we know them have changed.  
Constant news and social media further ramp up the stress and fear and we wonder why we can’t sleep, relax or think clearly.
Next, our mental health becomes impacted and we find it even more difficult to cope with the situation we have found ourselves in.
Sound familiar? Trust me, you are not alone!

Our worries are not unfounded, non the less, worrying gets us nowhere. Fortunately, there are ways to help us limit the anxiety. Mindfulness.
I’m not talking about ignoring what is happening.  I’m talking about ways to engage with the facts without allowing them to take over our thoughts and emotions.
Firstly, pay attention to what is happening in the present moment.
Where you are, what you are doing, what’s happening around you right now. This calms the mind and reduces stress and anxiety.
Secondly, notice the emotions that arise and accept them with kindness and compassion. Don’t try to label then or change them. When we accept our emotions we stop fighting them and give them less power.

This is a difficult time, we may have financial difficulties, loved ones may be sick. It’s hard to stay indoors and not see our family and friends. Look for the sparkles in the darkness. Being on lockdown allows us to slow down, perhaps rekindle a hobby, spend quality time with other members of our household, play with our pets, notice the beauty of nature, communicate with friends we haven’t spoken to for a while,  even become closer to our neighbours. 
Nature is being given a chance to restore and replenish. If we don’t pay attention to the present moment, don’t be mindful, we might never see the sparkles.
Much love Jan.